All of Me
by Emeraldstargazer
Summary: Auron tells a tale of love lost in order to help Yuna deal with her feelings for Tidus. Set during FFX, this is a oneshot that takes place just before the group reach Macalania Temple, so there are spoilers if you haven't reached that yet! Please RR!


All of Me

A Fanfiction

By Emeraldstargazer

****

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X or any of its characters (though I wish I did!!); they all belong to Squaresoft. The song lyrics are from 'My Immortal' by Evanescence, taken from the album 'Fallen' so I don't own the either. So please don't sue me.

****

Authors Note: This scene takes place when the group stops for the night at the Macalania Travel Agency (prior to going to the temple) and it involves mainly Yuna and Auron. This is, currently, another 'moment in time' fic - just something I had to get off my chest before I could get back to my other FFX fic 'Soul Searching'. However, I could tell Auron's story in more detail if people like this fic. So, if you like what you read, tell me and I might write more! 

* 

__

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you scream I'd fight away all of your fear

And I held your hand through all of these years

You still have all of me

Yuna breathed in the night air, its biting cold hitting her lungs, filling them with its icy blast. She breathed out again, feeling her worries drift away with her breath as it rose on the cold air. Around her the night was still, though she could hear muffled conversation and laughter from inside the Agency behind her. Listening carefully, Yuna could pick out Wakka's booming voice and, seconds later, raucous laughter that could only belong to Tidus. Sighing, she turned away from the sound and began to walk in the direction of the lake, her worries returning once again. Thoughts raced through her head – of Maester Seymour, of Sin, of her friends and companions…and of him. Most of all of him – of Tidus. 

Reaching the path that lead down to the frozen lake, Yuna was surprised to see a small fire glowing on the shore below her; a figure sitting close by it, easily identifiable by the large red coat draped across his shoulders. She knew that Sir Auron had, as usual, chosen to take the first watch that evening but had expected him to set up camp nearer to the safety of the Agency. Out on the shores of the lake a single guardian, even one of Auron's skill, was vulnerable to fiends. Deciding to go and see if the guardian needed anything, she carefully picked her way down the icy path that led to the lake's edge and stepped out onto the frozen sands, walking softly along them so as not to disturb the silence of the night. As she drew nearer, she could feel the heat of the fire, hear the faint crackling of the flames. Auron though, sat still and she could see now that his one good eye was closed; though his breathing told her that he was not asleep but simply lost in thought. She hesitated for a moment, unsure as to whether to interrupt what was so obviously meant to be a private moment. Deciding, she turned to move reluctantly back towards the Agency.

"Something troubles you Yuna?"

She spun around again upon hearing his voice but found that he was still staring out across the frozen bay. Yuna reminded herself once again not to underestimate the older guardian - his hearing was obviously better than she had thought. 

"No…I just wanted some…fresh air," she stammered

Auron turned his head to look at her briefly, a slight smile playing at the corner of his mouth, before turning back towards the lake; "You're almost as poor a liar as your father"

Yuna blushed faintly and looked down at the ground, unsure of how to respond. She stood in awkward silence until Auron's voice once again broke the air.

"I don't bite you know. Well…not much"

Yuna smiled and, accepting the invitation sat down beside her guardian. They sat in silence for a few moments; each lost in their own thoughts. For her part, Yuna's mind wondered back to Tidus and she turned her head to look back at the Agency. Her guardian must have caught the wistful glance.

"So, he is the cause of all your worries"

Quickly, she turned to look back at the lake; "I don't know what you mean"

Auron looked at her reproachfully and she realised there was little use in lying. She was, as he had a said, particularly bad at it. 

She sighed and looked out across the frozen sea, unwilling to meet her guardian's gaze; "He is…not the only cause"

"But he is part of the problem"

She nodded glumly and fought to suppress the tears that welled up within her; "I wish…I wish I had never met him. But then…I am also glad to have done for life is…brighter when he is around. It is…it is so…so…"

"…complicated" Auron finished, his voice filled with a recognition – and a resignation - that intrigued Yuna. She looked up at him, questioningly.

The slight smile returned; "Believe it or not, I was young and in love once too"

Seeing her wondrous gaze, he smiled again; "Too much time and too many cares can wreak changes in a man - I wasn't always this stoic"

She blushed; "I didn't think that"

"Yes you did"

"What…what happened?"

He sighed and lifted his head up, looking towards the starless sky; "It was…"

"…complicated?"

He nodded; "Very"

The conversation lapsed into silence once more; the guardian apparently lost in his own thoughts. Yuna stared out across the lake, though her eyes didn't really see what was in front of her. Instead, images of Tidus flashed before her – memories that she had captured and stored within her for moments such as this when she could replay them; hear his laughter once again or feel his touch upon her arm. The memories made her happy but also sad; for in them she could see moments when she should have spoken up – should have told him how she felt. And now it was too late. Now there was Maester Seymour; her husband in waiting, and the happiness of Spira to consider. And that had to come first. It always had to come first. She sighed heavily, though it didn't release half of the emotion that she felt within her.

"You can't let him go, can you?"

Auron's voice pulled Yuna out of her thoughts. She looked up to find him staring at her; his one-eyed gaze surprisingly piercing and yet, full of a sympathy she would not have thought he possessed. 

Glumly she shook her head; "No…but I try. I try so hard to forget him…"

"Why?"

Her guardian's question surprised her; not least because she didn't really have an answer to it. At least, not one that really convinced her.

"I am to marry Maester Seymour. That is reason enough. It is…it is wicked that I even think like this…"

To her surprise, she felt Auron's hand upon her shoulder; "You are many things Yuna but wicked is not one of them"

She looked up at him and smiled meekly; "But there is still no point in me entertaining such thoughts. I must marry Seymour"

"Must?"

She nodded; "Yes. It is…it is what is best for Spira. It is my duty"

Auron smiled glumly; "Some things are worth more than duty"

She looked up, intrigued; "You speak as if from experience"

"I do", he replied shortly

Yuna blushed and looked down at the floor; "I'm sorry – you probably don't want to talk about it"

"You're right - I don't," he said, looking up towards the sky once more, "But I will. I think…I think you need to hear about it"

Yuna looked up, surprised. Auron was still looking up at the sky, searching it as if hoping to find words to tell his story. 

Eventually he spoke; "Her name was Sabriél. I met her when I was on pilgrimage here to Macalania"

"Pilgrimage? With my father?" Yuna asked

Auron shook his head; "Before that. When I was training to be a warrior monk at St. Bevelle. We used to protect the pilgrims that came to the temple"

"And she was a pilgrim?"

"No. She was a Summoner"

Yuna gasped. And she had thought that the idea of anything between her and Tidus was absurd. Relationships between guardians and Summoners were once thing – relationships between Summoners and monks were another thing entirely. It was strictly forbidden within Yevon for a warrior monk to even entertain such ideas.

He smiled grimly; "It gets worse. Sabriél was travelling without guardians – most irregular; but then she never did like to be ordinary. When she reached Bevelle, Maester Mika insisted that she could not continue alone. Though she protested, he was adamant that somebody should accompany her throughout the rest of her journey"

"…and you were assigned to protect her"

He nodded; "I was"

Captivated, Yuna asked; "What happened?"

"It was quite simple really – we fell in love. I don't really know how – it just crept up on me. I suspect it was the same for her. By the time we reached Macalania, our relationship was definitely beyond being simply guardian and guarded. And it must have showed – I couldn't hide the way I felt about her"

"The same way that I can't hide how I feel about Tidus"

Auron nodded sympathetically before continuing; "And, just like with you and Tidus, eventually someone finds out. But, in my case that person wasn't on our side"

"They…they told the temple?"

Auron closed his one good eye, pain crossing his features; "No. Worse. Far worse. They gave me an ultimatum; I could do my duty and give her up or they would tell Maester Mika and we…we would both be sent to the Via Purifico"

Yuna could not supress a cry of astonishment; "Surely not…"

"We had betrayed Yevon; had gone against its laws. In their eyes, it was treason and there could only be one punishment. A fate worse than death"

"What did you do?"

"I let her go. I thought at the time I was doing the right thing; my duty to both the temple and to her"

"You were. By letting her go, you saved her from certain death"

"That's what I believed. But I was wrong. All I managed to do was send her to face it alone. She left for Zanarkand on her own – without anyone to protect her. They…they found her just over a week later; on the slopes of Gagazet"

Here, the guardian finally broke down, unable to carry on with his story. Yuna could almost feel his pain and anguish. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be faced with that sort of a choice – if that happened to Tidus…the thought was too unbearable for her even to contemplate.

"I'm…I'm so sorry Auron"

His voice was surprisingly strong in his reply; "Don't pity me; I really don't deserve it"

"That's not true," she said adamantly "You did the best you could"

"I should have stayed by her. I should have been there when she needed me. But, most of all, I should have told her every second of every day how much she meant to me. Because she had…she always had all of me"

He looked up, meeting Yuna's gaze for the first time since he had begun his story. His good eye was faintly clouded with un-spilt tears; "Don't put too much into duty Yuna. Some…some things are worth so much more than that. The sort of things that, even though you try, you cannot push away"

She nodded, finally understanding; "I…I will remember that"

He nodded; "Good"

A cry suddenly rang out across the bay, breaking the moment but not exactly unwelcome; "Hey Yuna!"

Yuna looked round and saw Tidus standing at the top of the cliff path, waving down at her. Despite herself, she smiled. 

"You should go and talk to him," Auron murmured

"I…I can't. It…It wouldn't be right"

Auron placed his hand gently upon her shoulder again; "Yuna…I once told someone else about Sabriél and he told me that it was better to live for one day with love than for an eternity without it"

"Who…who told you that?"

He smiled; "Your father"

She thought for a moment then smiled in return and got up. Silently she walked back along the frozen shore and climbed up the path towards Tidus. As she got near to the top, he reached down to pull her up and she felt the warm, welcome grasp of his hand. 

__

- Fin -


End file.
